Similarities and differences in my life and Africa students life. Also the question What can students in New York learn from the situation of students in Africa.
Students in New York can learn and see that New York children are lucky. The Africa students were fighting for libraries that we have. In Africa kids were shot for protesting for school libraries. ''Some 500 windows at the school had been broken for years, leaving students shivering in the winter and fall. That happen in a school called Luhlaza high school. Students in New York will learn that parents pay 2,200 dollars, for students. Most parents in the United States will probably not do that. In November the provincial education officials announced that the windows would be fixed and that a sum 10 times the sum the students asked.
The different things me and the Africa students have are that my school has a liberty. The Africa students had to share one textbook. My school does not have 500 broken windows. My school had teachers for seniors the Africa students don't have teachers for the 12th grade. Our parents don't pay 2,200 per child at my school. The things we have in common, is we dress the same. We all have class leaders and classes. They now have working windows like the school I go to, Frederick Douglass Academy.
Kids in Africa go though some very hard times and hard choices. Like they fought against rights to have a liberty and also to so fix up their school. They were not pushed to speak up, they choose to do it. Some were hurt but they kept on going with the process they never loosed hoped. If you keep on trying, you can accomplish your goals. If you don't try hard enough you may not reach/accomplish your goals in life.
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1 comment:
Alex-
Good job with this essay. Please put spaces after your paragraphs to make your posts easier to read.
When writing a formal essay, you can get rid of language like "Hi, I am going to write about..." and just start writing about it. Be sure to explain what you are writing about, but you can do it by giving information.
Good use of direct quotes in your essay, but make sure you put quotation marks on the beginning and end of the quotes you use.
You answered the essay questions, but you were supposed to write 4 paragraphs.
Perhaps you could write one paragraph each to explain the similarities and differences, and then write a closing paragraph.
Can you explain what it means to "have a liberty"? I don't understand that sentence.
If you would like to write a second draft of your essay for a higher grade, please let me know.
Check your verb tenses!
Mr. Enders
Meaning = 4
Development = 3
Organization = 2 (you were supposed to write 4 paragraphs)
Language = 4
Total = 13/20
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